You Were Never Meant to Do This Alone

n this episode of the B1 Podcast, we talk about why we were never meant to do life or faith alone.

Continuing the conversation from ONE Church’s “Don’t Grow Alone” message in the EveryONE Matters series, Pastor Blake and Pastor Mark unpack the importance of Christian community, authentic friendship, spiritual growth, and discipleship. In a culture where conversations often stay shallow, how do we move beyond small talk and actually grow deep with other people?

We talk about why real friendship requires commitment, why vulnerability can be so uncomfortable, and why we often hide the very wounds that could lead to deeper relationships. The goal isn’t simply to find people to hang out with—it’s to find people who will walk with us through the wins, the struggles, the questions, and the storms of life.

The conversation also explores what it means to be rooted together in Christ, the importance of having people ahead of us, beside us, and behind us in our faith, and how discipleship happens when we intentionally do life together.
If you’ve ever felt isolated, struggled to find genuine Christian friendships, or wondered how to grow deeper in your faith, this episode is for you.

You don’t need more content. You need community.

You were never meant to do this alone.

#BeOnePodcast #ONEChurch #ChristianPodcast #ChristianCommunity #ChristianFriendship #Discipleship #SpiritualGrowth #Faith #FollowingJesus #Church #GrowDeep #EveryONEMatters

Transcript

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Mark 0:00

Well, hello. Welcome back to the Be One Podcast.

Blake 0:05

It's great to have you here. Thanks for joining us.

Mark 0:07

Yep. I'm Mark.

Blake 0:09

I'm Blake. I'm the lead pastor here at OneChurch, and Mark's our incredible worship leader. Well, thank you. Best of the best. The best.

Mark 0:15

No, not really. Not. Hey, well, we're continuing the conversation from this past Sunday, and we were talking about community in our series, uh, Everyone Matters.

Blake 0:27

Yeah, we were talking about growing deep and uh how hard that is. Um, and it feels like our our culture is so shallow, right? There's just not a depth, and there's not a lot of places to go where you can have deep conversations. And it feels like ever since 2020, everything's so charged that like we don't talk about politics, we don't talk about religion. And and now it seems like it's changed, it's shifted. Like more people want to talk about God, they want to talk about faith, they want to talk about origin stories. There's a rise in wanting to understand Enoch, right? There's a rise in people wanting to talk about Nephilim and Genesis 6 and you know what where do we come from? And and I've loved it. I'm here for it. I love this spiritual conversation. I think people are wanting the deeper things and to understand theology, right? That it's not just ritualistic and hollow, um, lifeless form religion. Like I think our culture is tired of that. And they want something that's that's very real and deep, the deeper things. Don't you agree?

Mark 1:30

Yeah, I mean, I think uh it's been in the last seven or so years that I've started to unpack some things that were like I just never understood, and I still don't know all the answers, but now I'm I have maybe a framework of wow, okay, that that kind of makes sense now, stuff that I've read in the Old Testament that um that maybe have a reason that I feel like it the church that I grew up in didn't want to touch some of the topics because it was grouped.

Blake 2:03

Right.

Mark 2:05

Right, yeah.

Blake 2:05

David and Goliath, nine feet tall. Right. I didn't know there were cities of giants that Joshua slayed.

Mark 2:11

Right.

Blake 2:12

I didn't know that the bloodline and all the things that have started to uncover when we talk about man, and I don't know if you guys know this, but Mark and I are uh we're a little bit conspiracy theorists and love to talk about this stuff. We geek out talking about you know all the things that are being revealed and and all the theology we love to dive into these sorts of studies.

Mark 2:34

I say like I just have questions, you know. I don't I don't know the answers, but there's uh there's things in scripture that we already believe, like some weird stuff. You know, we believe that the savior of the world, the god of the universe, his mom was a teenage girl. You know, somehow she got pregnant and the god and she birthed the god of that's crazy, you know. Like when you think about one day he was pregnant by God.

Blake 3:01

Right. Right. One day he was walking along. Right. And then his followers saw him ascend into heaven. Like that, that's some crazy stuff. And so but because we've heard that I've heard that my whole life, it's easy to accept. Then when you start talking about other giants besides Goliath, it's like, wait a second, you know. But when when I start to understand the framework of um that might kind of explain some of the things that have happened in the Old Testament that we read. And um I don't know. It it helps me just to maybe give a reason. Oh, okay. That I don't know that that's how it worked or how it was, but that that could be, and it kind of gives me a framework to work with. Yeah. Well, I I just love that there's a depth to the conversation and more people are asking questions and saying, what is our narrative? Because I I wasn't taught these things, and it it's starting to open up things are being revealed and things are being exposed, and I'm here for it. Like what I've been saying um since 2020 is God uh open our eyes, give us eyes to see, ears to hear, eyes to see, ears to hear. That's my prayer. And it's like if the enemy is the deceiver of the world and the father of lies, then everything that we see, when we shouldn't be surprised, like, oh yeah, Hollywood, a bunch of lies, a bunch of deceit, a bunch of stories that are being told to us that we're supposed to believe, you know, like um and and so you go, I I'm starting to question all the things that we've been taught, you know, like and I think that's healthy, you know, because doubt is the on-ramp to faith. And I think the stronger you actually flex your muscles of faith and think, I want to know what I believe, I want to be strong in my faith. Um the more that you start to ask questions, and when we have each other to do that, that's where the strength comes. And so my message was called don't grow alone. And I think that way too many people try to figure this stuff stuff out by themselves. And it's so much more rich when you have people that will engage in spiritual conversation with you, not just get together and talk about the game. Uh, you know, you're especially like what you shot in in golf. But actually, like, look, uh do you ever open the Bible? Do you ever process together what the scriptures say, what it means, how what do you actually believe? You know, and then wrestle together, question each other. And so that's what's missing in our culture today is dialogue.

Mark 5:31

I mean, I agree. I mean, but you mentioned the game, excuse me, you mentioned golf, but or or even diving into scripture. It's just it's not the same. If you're if you hit a hole in one and you're by yourself, it's not the same as if you were with your boys. You know what I mean?

Blake 5:49

And I can't even tell anybody because I was by myself.

Mark 5:51

You were right. And so like but even just that is kind of like an example of like we're made for community. You know, we're made to do life together.

Blake 6:00

I remember very distinctly hitting a 50-foot putt by myself one time, and I was jumping up and down on the green by myself. I was like, Yeah, yes. And now I'm like looking around going. Who's gonna believe that? Who cares? Nobody cares, and nobody's celebrating with me. Right. And that that does like solidify what you're saying in that we desperately need each other. Yeah, we need each other to help celebrate with one another in our wins. Yeah, but also when your world's on fire, when you're hit by the train, when you don't have answers, when you're questioning everything, you need somebody to stand beside you.

Mark 6:38

Right.

Blake 6:39

And so that's why when I when I preach this weekend about being rooted, um, that's a big thing we talk about around here. And I always love to talk about the aspen tree because you know, there's the largest living organism is a tree, it's the aspen, and and it's in South Utah called Pando. It means I spread in Latin. I mean, that's just like that's like a layup for the church to go, it's like this is what the church looks like, right? When we're rooted together. And so the scripture was um Colossians 2, 6, continue to live your lives in him, rooted and built up in him, strengthened in the faith as you were taught, and overflowing with thankfulness. But what I'd like to unpack is right after that, it talks about okay, you're you're gonna find strength in your faith, you're gonna learn to lose your use your muscles in faith, right? And uh think about what you're taught overflowing with thankfulness, and then it says, verse A, see to it that no one takes you captive through hollow and deceptive philosophy, which depends on human tradition and the elemental spiritual forces of this world rather than on Christ. So it's like, do you understand that when you're strengthened and rooted, you're gonna be able to stand against all the lies. And I'm super excited about our next series. It's called the One King. And it's all about uh having Christ as our authority, as him being supreme, as him being sovereign, and he gets the final say because he's the king over every king, right? The king over every kingdom. And so we know that we're temporarily in the enemy's camp. Like the he's the prince of this world, right? And he's taking us captive. What are some of the things that you would say that are hollow philosophies? Right? Come on, let's be honest. Yeah about things that are lies today that we're not sure are completely true.

Mark 8:36

Yeah.

Blake 8:36

Right?

Mark 8:37

Yeah.

Blake 8:38

Come on, say them.

Mark 8:39

Well, I don't know how crazy you want me to do.

Blake 8:43

Mark is crazy. So we're gonna go some of the crazy.

Mark 8:46

Wow. Okay. Well, um I'll just say one that may be a a layup for maybe a lot of believers that might be watching this is uh evolution.

Blake 8:57

Yeah.

Mark 8:58

Right? I I it's hard for me to believe that it started with a bang and then everything started from this little thing, and then everything evolved, and and everything that we see, you and me, my that matter is created from nothing. From nothing. That's absolutely missing. That's hard for me to believe. Yeah, right.

Blake 9:18

And so, yeah, evolution is in question. I think there's a lot of religions that have been created that are that are lies, that are deceptive philosophies. Um, one of them is Islam. And when you know the history of Islam, it they are not conditioned to be a people of peace. They're a people that have used the sword and used war and used manipulation and lies and belittled women. Um what they you know, the way that they treat the infidels is disgusting. And to say that they're a people of peace is just not true. That's that's a lie. And so when you look at like it looks like a religion that's created by the enemy when you really look at it, right? Because he loves hatred, anger, bitterness, slander, he wants division, right? He wants to, you know, hurt children and women. That's and that's happens a lot in Islam. Or you could go talk about um Mormonism. Both of those religions were approached by an angel, angel Moroni, and given tablets that were written right in the Bible directly speaks against uh being approached by an angel and getting a revelation that is is a lie. So um, you know, you look at all the way ways that Mormonism has been deceptive, um, it's disgusting. The way that they use women and have had, you know, polygamy for centuries. Um what Joseph Smith did in his early days, um uh it's it is gross when you start really looking at and what happens in the temple. Um, yeah, and I uh in if you go online right now, there's a lot of like hashtag ex-Mormon, and a lot of ex-Mormons are coming out and talking about this. And again, things are being exposed. And I praise God for it, I'm here for it. Yeah, I'm glad that that that you're covering up the darkness that's going on in the world, and so this seed to it that no one takes you captive, like the only way you're gonna keep from doing that is staying, living your lives in Christ, in him, rooted and built up, right? And then it says right after that it talks about the authority. Verse nine it says, For in Christ all the fullness of the deity lives in bodily form. And in Christ, Mark, you have been brought to fullness because Jesus is the head over every power and authority. Can I get a witness? Amen. Right? That's that's the truth that we stand on.

Mark 11:49

Yeah, that's good. Well, I I just read a friend of mine who grew up in the church, you know, deconstructed recently, and I I I guess maybe has reconstructed in a sense and has is not going the way of Jesus. And it just it makes me sad because I think what uh the the organized religion that she grew up in and had the label of Christianity, I don't know that it was the true gospel, you know, because I feel like if if you had if you experienced the true gospel, you're not turning away from that, you know. And I feel like it was made into big buildings and and money and campaigns and things. And um and it and and when she started asking questions, her she didn't like the answers, and so she walked away. And so I feel like when when we're not honest with each other, it's a disservice um and it's dangerous because I feel like uh people uh believe what they're believing is the truth, but it's actually a lie. You know. And it happens in Christianity too.

Blake 12:59

Oh man. So let's talk about that. Uh for those of you that don't know, we live in a town that is rich. There's a lot of money here. Affluent Peachtree City, they call it the bubble. There's uh a hundred miles of golf cart paths and rivers and lakes, and it feels like a resort almost. And so there's an expectation with wealth that you're gonna be put together and we don't talk about our stuff. Right? We're quiet.

Mark 13:27

Oh, yeah. Hush hush. Yeah, best life, right? Yeah, on social media.

Blake 13:32

I think like, you know, we don't expose wounds and we don't expose our darkness. And so, therefore, a lot of people trying to be pretentious and put together, shove it down, keep this to yourself, and and say to your wife, don't talk about this. To say to your kids, don't talk about this, right? And so they learn to start shoving things inward. And then there's these pent-up like people that have so much darkness inside that they just want to be able to be healed. And so I think of like a little kid that has a scratch on his arm or something, right? And he comes up and he's like, ah, look, and he's like going like this, and you're you're as a parent, you're going, let me see it, let me see it, and they don't want to let go. They're like holding it up, and then finally they they go like this, you know, and then you see the wound and you can do something about it. In fact, when I was in second grade, I was pushed off of a big, you know. Remember when we have those big tires? Oh, yeah. Like tractor tires.

Mark 14:24

Not not OSHA recommended.

Blake 14:26

Not OSHA recommended. I was pushed off a tractor tire. I go back, limp on my elbow. You see that scar, bro? Look at that thing. My bone came out of my arm. That's insane. Compound fracture. So I I run up to Mrs. Hoon and I'm holding my arm like this, right? I'm going, Mrs. Woon, I heard my arm. And I it was DeAndre Cahill, a girl pushed me off the tire. You got beat up, buddy. If you're watching DeAndre, I love you, but man, you shouldn't have pushed me off the tire. She pushes me off. She runs up there with me.

Mark 14:58

Yeah.

Blake 14:59

And back then, you're not supposed to play with girls on the playground. I run up to Mrs. Woon. Ms. Hoon goes, Well, this is what you get for playing with a girl on the playground. Dang! I go, I go, Mrs. Whoon, I want you to see open and blood pouring out, my bones sticking out. And she's like, you freaking out. She's like, go to the nurse. And so I take off of the nurse and it sometimes I think we don't we don't realize the value of exposing what's the wound that you have because it's only truth that sets you free from.

Mark 15:33

Yeah, well, and but and I agree. But here's the thing is that because I talk to people all the time that are like, and maybe when they start to expose their wounds or their family or whatever, whatever it is that they're embarrassed about. And I'm like, look, it's uncomfortable. Right, but I'm like vulnerable. I know, but I'm like, I dude, uh my family's jacked up too. I'm jacked up. We're all jacked-up Right. I know I am. A thousand percent. But we're all jacked up. You know, and that's but I think that's the lie that the enemy Oh, you can't show that. You know, don't tell that because that what they're gonna think. But the truth is, like, we're all screwed up, you know? So we shouldn't be afraid to expose it.

Blake 16:13

Yeah. I think sometimes I feel more comfortable when I'm with um Alcoholics Anonymous, right? Yeah.

Mark 16:21

Or celebrate recovery and regeneration.

Blake 16:25

Or even in very poverty-stricken lands. It seems like when when you know like my life's a mess and there's nothing to hide, you see it all. What am I trying? Who am I kidding? And you walk in and identify as a sinner, like, hey, I'm I'm pretty broken. Yeah. And then, you know, you're able to say, hashtag me too.

Mark 16:43

Yeah.

Blake 16:44

You know, I'm broken as well. And we can be brothers. Yeah you know. And so that's why we can't grow alone, right? We don't grow alone, we have to grow deep together. And I think if ever before in in history that um people are live their lives in isolation, it's now, right? This individualistic society is gross, it is not a representation of the kingdom of God. Yeah, and so that's why I I care so much that we, you know, may they be one, may we be unified in Christ, right? Built up together, rooted together, that our our roots are entangled and we're standing strong together. Yeah so that, you know, the aspen tree, a bug comes, starts to kill the trees. What does it do? Sends the nutrients into the roots. That's so powerful. Folder tree starts to die, what does it do? Sends the nutrients into the roots. So the roots stay established in Christ, so that when the philosophies and lies and deceptions of this world come, nope, don't matter. I'm just gonna shoot some more sprouts, we're gonna continue to grow, right? And that's that's what a beautiful picture of what we do as believers. We stand together, we're gonna continue to grow, we're gonna fight together. When you're hurt, I'm hurt, right? Yeah, what's that verse we always talk about about um belonging?

Mark 18:04

We always we always talk about Yeah, it's uh Romans 12, 5. Romans 12, yeah. So in Christ, we, though many, it just it makes me think of that aspen form one body, and each member belongs to all the others.

Blake 18:22

That's kind of a weird thought. To say you and I are one body. You know, you're definitely what body part are you?

Mark 18:31

Uh I feel like I'm I'm not the eyes. I know that my eyes are terrible.

Blake 18:36

Yeah. And I'm not the nose because I can't smoke. So I'm I might be the mouthpiece because I preach and talk a lot.

Mark 18:45

I'll be the ears then.

Blake 18:46

You're the ears because you're a singer. Well, I just would say that we're one body and we belong to each other. So your wounds hurt me. Yeah, your pains, they something I need to deal with because it's a strange thought to say, Mark, you belong to me. Yeah, yeah, and I belong to you.

Mark 19:02

Yeah.

Blake 19:03

But if we actually believed that and lived like that, and we're like, you know, when when things belong to you, you take care of it. Right. If I if I'm the owner of something, then I'm gonna make sure that they're my stuff's taken care of. And I think it should be even more so with humans, right? You you as a brother and sister in Christ belong to me, and therefore, when you lose your you know, parents or you lose a kid, this the community wraps around that and can you know just overwhelms them with love so that they sense the sit the system of being rooted together. Yeah, that's where the church shines, right? We don't need more podcasts, we don't need we don't need more sermon, we don't need more content, we need friends, yeah, right? And friendship is so elusive today, and I think it comes down to commitment.

Mark 20:00

Yeah.

Blake 20:01

We suck at commitment. Yeah, like, hey bro, let's get together, and then what's people's answer?

Mark 20:06

Yeah, busy. Sounds great. Yeah, I'd love to do that.

Blake 20:09

Yeah, and it's left there.

Mark 20:11

Yeah, but yeah.

Blake 20:12

And then you take the next step and it feels so vulnerable to say, well, what about you know, lunch or breakfast Friday? What about, you know, could we get together at seven o'clock Friday, you know, at Waffle House? That feels like you're saying, Oh, we're gonna commit. Well, I don't I don't know. Whoa. I gotta I don't know. And it's this, I gotta see what else comes, along.

Mark 20:33

Was it faux uh fear of a better offer? Fear of a better offer, right? Fobo, yeah.

Blake 20:38

Fobo. We we were like, well, you know, I might there might be a game on, or I I'm not gonna, you know. And so the the church should be the first people to say, yeah, count me in. Whatever it takes. I'm in. What do you what do you need? Yeah, right. I I love that about this church. Um, I think we are quick to say yes. We are quick to say, hey, you need help moving, you know, especially you, bro. You got your truck. I swear you're called. Every time someone needs to move, Mark Brown's the first truck.

Mark 21:09

I like doing it.

Blake 21:10

Or you also love pulling out your chainsaw, oh you need a tree cut down.

Mark 21:13

You need a tree cut down.

Blake 21:15

Yeah, yeah. I love that about you.

Mark 21:17

No, it I I I agree. I I like doing that stuff. What what's funny though with the church and groups, like our groups, uh our group life at church at One Church is awesome. Like it's thriving and hence awesome.

Blake 21:30

That this past week, 82 people signed up.

Mark 21:33

That's awesome.

Blake 21:33

To be in groups. That's great.

Mark 21:35

Yeah.

Blake 21:35

So somebody stepped forward, they committed, they said, yes. I want to be a part of this. Yeah.

Mark 21:40

That's awesome. But what what's funny to me, like I tell people, and this is probably not right, I probably shouldn't. This may be the last time I ever say it because you tell me not to say it anymore. But I feel like groups are manufactured commun. We're helping people find their community.

Blake 21:55

You know, and if you can't find friends, so I'll help you find friends.

Mark 21:59

Right. So it's like it We're right, exactly. And there I'd never forget the like three, four years ago there was a a lady that called me and said, I I uh don't be mad at us, but I I think we started a group. Like we're we have a group of friends and we meet and we decide to start a Bible study. I was like, that's awesome. Like because the model I think I feared after talking with her, I encouraged her. I was like, that that's what we want, you know. But we've we've got this model where I feel like sometimes people are waiting to be plugged into a group when it's like, man, who do you sit next to every single week? Like who do you go to the ballgame with? Who's your neighbor? Like form a group. Like you, but if you need help, we we can help you plug into group.

Blake 22:45

But yeah, it's kind of a terrifying system when you think about the job of the Grow Group pastor or the discipleship pastor. It's like it's just a bunch of names on a spreadsheet, having no idea what these people are like, what you know, even sometimes we don't know their age, you know. You see, you're putting these different demographics and different, you know, uh people that might live, you know, 45 minutes apart. And it's like, well, okay, here we go. Yeah. I'll put you know, these seven families together and these seven families together. And it's like, it's a daunting task. When but I think you're right, the organic way of naturally just going, hey man, I've got a lot of questions about the Bible, and I'm growing in my faith, and I need help. Would you meet with me and the study of the Bible, just a few friends, and we'll pray together. And, you know, if you ever need help with something, I'll show up. And, you know, it's literally saying, I'm gonna do life together. Like, like we're gonna let's put our root system together. Yeah. And when the storms of life come, I want to be your body armor. I'm gonna stand beside you. I have a group of men. My question this Sunday was there's three different types of things people we need in our life: people ahead of us, people walking beside us, and people walking behind us. And so the people ahead of us are growing us. They're they're the ones that are, you know, your mentors, they disciple you, they keep you accountable. Beside you are ones that you're locked arms with. I would say, Mark, you're one of those men in my life that I get to, you know, grapple in the faith together alongside of you in a real way every Sunday. You're setting them up in Christ by leading them to the throne of God through worship, and then you give me like the here you go, here's a soft law, now go preach the gospel and hit it out of the park. You know, so we work together truly. Yeah. And then there's people behind you that you're growing in the faith. I have a group of men ahead of me that are part of my covenant crew. Uh, and my covenant crew is a group of five lead pastors throughout the country that I uh am on a text thread with every day. And we also meet once a month on a Zoom call face to face, and we talk about um four Ds in our life. And I won't go through the four D's, but we we go there, we talk about real stuff, what's going on in our life, things that we're you know, struggling with, all you know, our marriage, our kids, our ministry, everything is on on, you know, what temptations we have. It's just super raw. And then we also talk about, you know, uh the importance of growing one another. And so we will step into each other and push back. And so there's that group of men coming to crew, you're beside me, walking beside me. And then there's a group of men that I'm raising up that are walking behind me. And a lot of times those are guys that's one-on-one that I'll say, you know, Lord, I know you want me to go play golf with that guy. And maybe younger in the faith and has a lot of questions. And then while we're playing golf, it's just like, hey man, I've been struggling, or we just talk while we're playing. I do a lot of that. And so, anyways, I I think it's important to think about who's discipling you and who are you discipling.

Mark 25:58

Yeah. I think that's awesome. So, like I guess the challenge was put out there, and it let's say you you I don't have someone that I am discipling or that is discipling me. Like, how how can I even start that conversation? Like, what does that look like?

Blake 26:16

Wow. Well, I mean, obviously we gave a place here at the church to sign up. Like you can go online. I I love that so many people went online this week and signed up on their own and they're trying, they're stepping out in faith through that. But I think your point of like, ask the people that you feel the closest with that you would wanna you would want to grow in the faith with, that you naturally talk to, that you know, and if you don't, then that's a that's a great resource for here at the church to help you find those people. Um, but yeah, I think intimacy, intimacy, man, like we desperately need friends. We need to grow deep together, and we can't do this alone. And and we're so scared of intimacy because the closer we get to people, then the more they know our stuff, right? And then then you start to go, uh, the fig leaf, like I want to cover myself up. I'm feeling uncomfortable. And so a lot of people might join a grow group, but it's so foreign that so many people are so honest about their stuff that they're like, I don't know with this, I'm out. Yeah, yeah. Right. And they back away, right?

Mark 27:16

I I remember this was a group, and we're still uh friends with a lot of these people that were in our group 20 years ago, but uh we were leading and it was at our house, and everybody was just hanging out, like having fun, you know, eating snacks, drinking uh Kool-Aid and things like that. Drinking when I said drinking, um you know, just hanging out and having conversation.

Blake 27:39

And then it was George, so probably sweet tea.

Mark 27:41

It was probably sweet tea, yeah. It was and uh and then I said, okay, let's meet in the living room. And it was like crickets, you know, it was like all of the the conversation stopped. So I feel like um I I was like, man, this isn't right. You know, like let's let's just continue to hang out and and we can just we can talk about God or Jesus or relationship or struggle. I think but that's sometimes what happens, and maybe where maybe that fear comes in with meeting with a group is I I'm okay, I'm good with the hangout part. But then when we talk about the go deep part, like I don't know, man. I might um I'm gonna be in the kitchen drinking sweet tea.

Blake 28:22

You know, have you ever heard the statement intimacy stands for into me, you see? You know what I mean? Like and and that's the part like I I feel so vulnerable when we're gonna become intimate and I'm gonna share with you the pain that I'm really going through. But once you have that with people, and you you know, the fear is that if you really knew me, you'd run. But the truth is the more that I know that you know me and I feel safe with you to tell you what I'm hurting about, the closer we'll get.

Mark 28:55

Yeah.

Blake 28:56

Right. We the more raw and honest we can become, the closer we'll get. And so we push away from that, but once you just embrace, like, I want intimacy in my life, I need intimacy in my life, intimacy with God and intimacy with his people. And so, therefore, for my life, I've chosen to live an open book like this. I I want people to feel like you can come in. I want you to feel vulnerable. I want to kind of open the door and lead the way in helping people understand what it looks like to be vulnerable. Yeah, and in this town, it's so weird for a pastor to do that from stage that I think that's a big part of why this church is growing. It's like, man, he's so honest.

Mark 29:32

I think so. About his own stuff, right? Right. I mean, well, I've heard that oh over and over, like, wow, he's he's messed up like me. You know. He might be more messed up.

Blake 29:44

Well, you know, what is this statement? I've I've always heard it said that um uh breeds intimacy, breeds what what is it? The uh the more you know someone, the more it breeds uh familiarity breeds contempt. Have you ever heard that? Familiarity breeds contempt.

Mark 30:05

Yeah.

Blake 30:07

And so in the body of Christ, that should not be true.

Mark 30:11

No, yeah, right.

Blake 30:13

In the world, yes, familiarity is like that guy's a jerk. Yeah, familiarity is like you're living in darkness, you're a liar, you're a deceiver, you're a horrible father, you're a horrible husband. And the more familiar familiar you are with that darkness, then you go, yeah, I'm contempt. I don't want to have anything to do with that. Yeah, and you're kind of like put off by it. But in the body of Christ, let's talk about fruit in our life. Because that's I talked a lot about fruit this weekend. We are allowed to judge people by their fruit. Like, hey, you know, we we're just because you're part of the church, it doesn't mean you ever get to judge. That's not true. Right. We do get to judge, and actually the Bible calls us to judge people by their fruit. And so, what's the fruit? Gentleness, kindness, joy, love. You see patience, you see it demonstrated in a conflict, you see people, you know, anger is dissipated because it's uh you know covered by love. Right? You you see people go their their characters on trial uh in the church, and it should be because we're we're accountable to God for our fruit, and that's why we need each other to help each other grow.

Mark 31:21

Yeah.

Blake 31:22

When I have other men that go, bro, the way you just spoke to your wife, that's not okay. Yeah, right. Yeah, and so familiarity as a believer should breed curiosity. Yeah, it should make people go, what is that dude about? Because that's incredible. I saw the way that he was loving his kids.

Mark 31:41

Yeah.

Blake 31:41

I saw the way his kids love him. I saw the countenance on his wife's face of how much she loves him. And man, I need that. I want that. Yeah. And so I feel like if we can demonstrate that, it's gonna familiarity is gonna breed curiosity.

Mark 31:57

Yeah. Yeah. I think that's good. Yeah. Yeah. Uh I think, you know, for me, in in situations and relationships where I feel like maybe the walls have broken down, it's where maybe I've gone first, you know, and I've said, dude, I I blew it. And let me, can I just bring in and and then a lot of times it's like, oh dude, um I've I have a story similar to that, you know.

Blake 32:24

And Mark, one of my favorite things about you is your humility. See, the opposite of humility is pride. And I think the church needs to talk about pride because really it's pride that pushes intimacy away. The reason why you're not in a group and you're not allowing people into your life is pride.

Mark 32:44

I don't need any.

Blake 32:45

And and if someone comes to you and says, Man, you're an absolute jerk and you push people away, and nobody wants to be around you because and then they call you out on your stuff. So what are they doing? They're exposing the wound.

Mark 32:59

Yeah.

Blake 33:00

And the church has a tendency to push people away and say, Don't get in my business. You don't have any you don't have any say in my life, you know? And so I always say you have to earn your voice. You don't don't just be the bullhorn guy that's screaming at people and the whistleblower, right? Instead, earn your voice of trust before you start, you know, telling people truth. And you know, we're overflowing with grace, the Bible says. And like think of trust as like, you know, you're sprinkling truth, like a salt, like you're taking it just a little bit, too much saltiness, right? And people don't want to have anything to do with you. But it it's that fine line of learning to speak truth in love, right? There's grace and truth, grace and truth, and they're always two together.

Mark 33:44

Yeah.

Blake 33:44

And if you have one too much grace, then it's like a fluffy church. But if there's truth that's actually too much truth, it actually repels people, it's repugnant, it's like the, you know, you're too salty. Yeah. So there's this balance. Churches have to have grace and truth. And when you do that well, that's when your grow groups come to life.

Mark 34:03

Yeah.

Blake 34:03

When people are safe enough to say, Man, I'm wounded. I've got I've got stuff I need to talk about.

Mark 34:08

Yeah.

Blake 34:08

And if they feel safe enough to say that, then instead of beating them up first with truth, go, bro, that sucks.

Mark 34:14

Yeah.

Blake 34:15

I hate that you're there.

Mark 34:16

Yeah.

Blake 34:16

Right? I and let's let's talk about how you got here.

Mark 34:19

Yeah.

Blake 34:19

How did that wound get there? How did that, how did you cheat on your wife?

Mark 34:23

Yeah.

Blake 34:23

Or how did you cheat on your husband? Or how how did we get to a place where your finances are under rook? To tell me about your spending habits. Can we talk about how you got overweight and how you've been eating, you know, like a glutton? And so I I think that that there's conversations that need to be had and not allowing pride to come in and puff up and push people away, say, get out of my business, right? The church has a responsibility to love people because people belong to people. Yeah. And when I go, you belong to me, you're mine, you're my product, and you're wounded, and I'm gonna fix my product just like I would my car, right? My car's not running. I can tell it needs a new accelerator, whatever, whatever it is, right? Air conditioner. I'm gonna fix that. That and so we got to talk about how did how did your air conditioner go out? Or or how did you know you fall into this temptation again? How did you fall into porn? This is an addiction, it's a problem, and I want to set up accountability software. It's all those things to say, we're gonna work through this together. It's not just your problem because you belong to me.

Mark 35:23

Yeah.

Blake 35:23

And if we cared enough for the church body to say, we're one body, yeah, and all the members belong to one body of Christ, then you go, well, then we're gonna help fix each other and we're gonna help stay healthy. And that's the hard work of what we call church.

Mark 35:38

Yeah. Well, I mean, I I agree. I think for me, I I feel like maybe the difficult piece of that is that's not the story I've been told my whole life. You know, someone falls a lot of times in church experience that I've seen is excommunication. Trevor Burrus, Jr. Yeah.

Blake 35:57

They're like ostracized.

Speaker 35:58

Right. It's never talk to him again. Nope. He's a oof, can't can't mess with him. Too far gone. Right. And so I think that's something special that's here is that like you say uh, you know, everybody's welcome, nobody's perfect, and anything is possible. And you say all the time, oh, like it Hey, we're all sinners here, raise your hand if you're not okay. You just sinned, you're welcome to club.

Blake 36:24

Because you lied. Right.

Mark 36:29

We're all so I think just embracing that of like you're gonna mess up what we got going on here. We're not we are not perfect, and you're welcome, you know.

Blake 36:38

Yeah. So our word today is simple. Man, if you're doing it alone and if you feel isolated and you're like like, you know, the the piece of coal that's been taken away from the fire, so you've gotten gray and cold. Well, you need to get warm again, and the way to do that is to find intimacy with other people that have a fire for Christ, and so you can start to glow red again and find the love of God through the people of God. And so that's our challenge for today. Don't grow alone. Don't grow alone. If you are, we'd love to help you here at the church. Please reach out to us. We'd love to help um get you plugged in, find other friends, how whatever it is. Just be willing to, you know, take your arm off of the wound, right? And let other people see, hey, I need help. And that's the secret sauce of the church is when you can say, Yeah, I need help. And the church should be the place where anything's possible, right? Yeah, no perfect people allowed. So if you're imperfect, then please come to the church and we'll help you grow in Christ. We love you. Thanks for joining us today. It's been awesome to have you.